Face 2 Facebook

Well, every day I walk right up to strangers on the street

And tell them things about my life I think are really neat

I tell them what I’ve eaten and what I’ll do today,

And as I pour my soul out, they turn and walk away.

I follow them and offer up some pictures of my dog

And pictures of a bear cub with its head stuck in a log.

I offer my opinions, tell them what I dream,

And as I share this recipe, they run off with a scream.

It’s face to Facebook

‘cause you do it face to face

Your social network’s out your door, it’s called the human race.

It’s just like Facebook

But the worst part of it all

Is when some guy unfriends you with your face into a wall

On private conversations, I always listen in

Then I give them “two thumbs up” and a “wink emoji grin”

I ask them please “like me”, but they don’t understand,

They call the cops, file complaints, and try to get me banned.

It’s face to Facebook

And I’m gettin’ lots of hits

When I meet up with a pretty girl and post about her … eyes.

It’s just like Facebook

But the worst part of it all Is when some girl unfriends you with a foot into your shin.

So, I’ll keep honing my techniques with strangers that I meet 

But not a soul will friend me, though I chase them down the street

But just today I got the word that I have three new followers

A lovely psychotherapist and a pair of officers.

It’s face to Facebook

My social network’s disappeared 

My girlfriend and my family say I’m getting pretty weird

It’s just like Facebook

But it’s becoming quite absurd

So, all that’s left to do is friend request Mark Zuckerberg.