My Ex Came Back

You know my ex-wife had troubles of her own,

She showed up at my doorstep and she wasn’t going home.

I told her, and I told her that she couldn’t stay

And when she left I thought she’d finally gone away … But

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     My ex came back, the very next day

     Yeah, my ex came back, I thought she was a goner,

     But my ex came back… she just wouldn’t go away.

She said, “I’m really sorry, I know I was a jerk,

But you’re the best I’ve ever had, can’t we try to make this work?”

Well, the best she’s ever had wasn’t so hot in my eyes,

Cause when she asked me for a threesome, I didn’t think she meant two guys … But

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She asked me why this romance had to end.

I reminded her, “honey, you slept with my best friend.

Then you got intoxicated and you smashed my guitar  

And when you threatened to leave, I hoped you’d go really far” …  But

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She asked me then for help, but it was clear I couldn’t save her.

I went to court, the judge ruled in my favor

When it looked like I’d no longer have to court her

She blew right through that restraining order …  And 

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So, distract her please, I’m getting out of this mess

And if anybody asks, I’ve got no forwarding address.

I think it’s time I take a permanent vacation

Cause my ex is back and she’s off her medication …  And 

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